How to Feel Comfortable in Front of the Camera on Your Wedding Day. Thanks to Ellie from Haven Photography
There’s a sentence I hear from almost every couple I work with before their wedding day: “I’m not very photogenic.” And every time, I think the same thing. That’s not a you problem. That’s a photographer problem.
The truth is, feeling comfortable in front of a camera has very little to do with how you look and everything to do with how safe you feel. When you trust your photographer, when you’re not being barked at to stand here, tilt that, chin down, hold it — you stop performing and you start just being. And that’s when the magic happens.
Book someone whose work already makes you feel something
Before you even get to the wedding day, the biggest thing you can do is choose a photographer whose images already move you. Not someone whose work looks technically impressive, someone whose work feels like something. If you look at their portfolio and think “that could be us,” you’re already halfway there.
Do an engagement session
I cannot recommend this enough. An engagement session isn’t just pretty photos for your save the dates. It’s a practice run. You get to meet your photographer in a low-stakes setting, figure out how they work, and realise that it’s actually not that scary. By the time your wedding day arrives, I’m not a stranger with a camera. I’m someone you’ve already laughed with.
Tell me what you hate
Seriously. If you hate your side profile, tell me. If you feel stiff when someone tells you to look at each other, tell me. If you hate the word “pose,” tell me. The more I know going in, the better I can work around it and with you.
Move, don't pose
The couples who look the most natural in their photos are almost never the ones who were trying to look natural. They’re the ones who were doing something. Walking, spinning, sneaking a bite of cake, having a cry during the speeches. I’m there to catch all of it. You don’t have to perform for me.
How I actually work on the day
My approach sits somewhere between fully candid and fully directed, and I think that’s the sweet spot for most couples.
A tiny amount of what I do is traditional posing. Think less “chin down, hand here” and more just making sure the light is working for you and nothing looks awkward. It’s the invisible stuff you’ll never notice in the final photos.
The bigger part is prompts. Not poses, prompts. Instead of telling you where to put your hands, I’ll ask you to whisper something in their ear, or take a slow walk, or think of a memory that makes you laugh. You’re focused on each other, not on me, and that’s exactly when the best photos happen. Real laughter. Real tenderness. The kind of connection that can’t be staged.
And then there are the moments I just quietly catch. The ones nobody planned. The way you looked at each other during the speeches. The relieved exhale after the vows. That’s the candid part, and honestly it’s my favourite part.
Together it means you’re never left standing there wondering what to do with your hands, but you’re also never so directed that the photos stop feeling like you.
Remember what the day is actually about
On your wedding day, you are going to be surrounded by every single person who loves you. You’re going to marry your person. You’re going to eat good food and dance badly and laugh until your face hurts. If you lean into that, I promise the photos will take care of themselves.
The best wedding photos don’t come from perfect posing. They come from real moments. My job is just to be ready when they happen.
